Journey To Awareness

I have always had an awareness of something beyond the natural senses. For as long as I can remember, I was aware of apparitions, I was aware of sounds others did not hear, and I was aware of things around me.

This caused me to begin a journey. It was a journey to try to understand “what was wrong with me.” Since our society focuses so much on religion, I decided to go to church. My family was not religious, so I went with neighbors, or friends and their families. When I was able, I went alone.

Something always made me seek another church to go to. I just didn’t resonate with what the Pentecostal church told me. So, I went to a Jehovah Witness church. That didn’t jive with me either. I went from one church to another trying to find out “what was wrong with me.”

Then, in my late 20s, certain things were brought into my awareness. I was about to be married, even though I knew I was gay. I was drawn to television shows that discussed meditation and things that I was told are from the devil. I realized, I was living a facade.

With this awareness, I made some life altering decisions. For one, I called off my wedding. This, in turn, alienated me from my fellow congregates, because my fiancée and her family were in the “top click” of the church. So, I stopped going to church as well.

Then, one day, when I was down and out, I went to the bookstore hoping to find some guidance. After browsing around aimlessly, I found myself in the aisle of the Self-Help and New Age books. I remember thinking to myself, “okay, I don’t know where to go, or what to do. Give me a sign”. Suddenly, a book fell off the shelf, right in front of me. I took that as a sign and thus began a new journey of spiritual development.

This journey was completely different from the previous. Instead of trying to find out “what was wrong with me,” I was led to find out “what was right with me.” There were no rules. I was able to read what I wanted to read. I could watch whatever television show I wanted to watch. The confined box I had been living in had fallen away. Shit! I could even dance outside of the Holy Spirit!

Since then, I have experienced many different things. I’ve experienced astral projection, remote viewing and healing, and past life regression. I’ve participated in crystal bowl ceremonies, drumming circles, and chanting sessions. I’ve learned about the power of crystals and gems and now have a collection nearing 200 pieces. I’ve learned how to meditate anywhere and at anytime. But, the most important thing I’ve learned is there is nothing wrong with me. Everything I need is already within me. I merely need to be aware of it.

Don’t Forget To